I first encountered William S Burrough's Naked Lunch on the way to court for breaking and entering. I needed something to read on the long busride there and I stole a copy of Naked Lunch from Barnes and Noble because I heard it was all about drugs. At the time (two and a half years ago) I didn't get it at all. I'd read five pages, get sick of it, and not read it again for months. It took me two years to finish. A few months ago I picked it up again and fucking loved it. Since then I've come to the conclusion that Burroughs is the only fiction writer worth reading at all (and even then only about 50% of the time--after all, it is still fiction). As long as you can get past the excessive homosexuality and the page-long bursts of disconnected imagery, you will love it. Or maybe not. Maybe you're an idiot.

So not long ago me and e (who refuses to use capital letters because he thinks it makes him cool) decided to have a stupid-ass gross out contest, basing our disgusting little drawings on Naked Lunch, which is quite possibly the most disgusting novel (or anything, really) ever. And here it is, along with quotes when necessary.

THE COUNTY CLERK: "So there I was sitting in front of Jed's store over in Cunt Lick my peter standing up straight as a jack pine under my Levi's just a pulsin' in the sun....Weell, old Doc Scranton walks by, a good old boy too, there's not a finer man in this valley than Doc Scranton. He's got a prolapsed asshole and when he wants to get screwed he'll pass you his ass on three feet of in-tes-tine....If he's a mind to it he can drop out a piece of gut reaches from his office clear over to Roy's Beer Place, and it go feelin' around lookin' for a peter, just a-feelin' around like a blind worm.... So old Doc Scranton sees my peter and he stops like a pointin' dog and he says to me, 'Luke, I can take your pulse from here.'"